The reflex
Someone criticises a function, a mockup or a message you prepared. You explain your constraints before you have understood their objection.
The builder’s reflex
“What makes you think it doesn’t meet the need? Let’s look at the case together.”
Why
Criticism of a message, a spreadsheet or a screen is about what it produces. It says nothing about your worth. While you defend, you are not listening, and you miss the only information that matters: what the other person saw and you did not.
A reviewer says the message to new sign-ups is too short. You are about to defend brevity. Digging in, their worry is the missing address. One added line fixes it. Defending would have cost that line.
When someone else defends their choice, ask them what they saw that you did not.
Criticism is not right because it was said. Bring it back to a case: who is affected, in what situation, with what consequence. A case can be checked. An impression can be argued forever.
Try this
When you ask for a review, name the precise question you want an opinion on.
“Would someone new to the subject know what to do next?”
On a disagreement, say the objection back before you answer. Then decide: what you change, what you keep, what you test. After the next use, see whether the problem comes back.
To discuss
Which recent criticism did we defend against instead of listening to?